A wee sampling of some raw poem parts on the Poetrician's operating table...
Enormous Hedgehogs
Wide and tall
Make this town
Look very small
At first they came in
Off the boats
They soon became
The size of goats
People fed them
Green bug jelly
Bought them snacks
From Barney's Deli
Found we them
All cute and sweet
With droopy eyes
And furry feet
I really wish we
Would've known
How fast our food
Had made 'em grown
It wasn't long
They be-gan biting
Soon enough
They started fighting
Tried we hard
We did our best
But lo,
They still became a pest
They multiplied
They're still abounding
How they grow
It's just confounding
Klaxons warned us
Much too late
First two, then four
And now there's eight!
They stomp our forest
Into sticks
And turn our courthouse
Into bricks
People screaming
All around
Their cries and shrieks
The only sound
Should I stay
Or should I go?
I'm much too scared,
I just don't know.
Should we give up
And say goodbye?
Is this a noble
Way to die?
Our final hope
To make 'em flee
Is lure them out
Into the sea
Mary found a little lamb
It wandered all alone
She carried it back to her farm
And made for it a home
She read it books and dressed him up
And fed him lots of milk
The hours spent a-combing
Made his fleece as soft as silk
Everywhere that Mary went
Her lamb was sure to go
It followed her through wind and sleet
Through twisters, rain, and snow
Mr Whompers was a smoggy man
Who lived atop a yurt
He built it with some swizzle sticks
And cherry fossil dirt
A hypnopotamus
Was always right there by his side
With snail-plated corset
Made of spicy naugahyde
I started pickin' at my grub
The snail shake all too lumpy
With slimy beets and donkey feets
My tummy got all grumpy
My head turned green, my eyes fell out
I came down with a fever
I guess I should've stopped before
I ate that pickled beaver
Said to my date, "Ya know, I bet you'll
Find this kinda funny,
But I left my wallet at Ma's house
I ain't got any money."
I don't know how it happened
Was it something that I said?
But now I got contusions
And a new dent in my head.
It's just my luck, I should've known
But now it's much too late
I'm pretty sure we won't be going
On a second date
My mother tried to teach me
Using mental apprehension
But she always said I never did
Pay very close attention
If I remember right
(Which I'm sure I might)
Then this is what she said:
Don't go swimming after eating
Half a dozen plates of cake
'Cause if you do I'm sure you knew
The diving board you'll break
A stitch in time will save a dime
(Or was it just a penny?)
I don't recall exactly
But it really ain't that many
If at first you don't succeed
Perhaps you need to try
But failing that, just kiss the cat
And eat a piece of pie
Brush your teeth two times each day
And thrice if you just must
(Any less that that, I 'spose
They'll prob'ly start to rust.)
Don't ever talk to strangers
Most 'specially not a mime
For if he talks, you'll cause him
To commit a ghastly crime
The early bird, it gets the worm
Them birds, they can't be beaten
But come to think...if that's so true
The early worm gets eaten!
Don't cry over milk that's spilled
It isn't salutory
But if it is the chocolate kind
Now that's a different story
Best to let sleep-ing dogs lie
Um, not to be uncouth
But does that mean when wide awake
We make 'em tell the truth?
Birds of a feather knock together
It makes their knuckles swell
But why don't they just use their beaks
To ring the blasted bell?!
Don't put your eggs in baskets
Leave 'em mostly in the nest
Or momma bird'll get ya
Which I'm sure you might've guessed
