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Jinkies

A most bizarre creature, the flightless jinkie (oftentimes referred to as a jinkie bird, although ornithologists "refuse any insinuation of association with such heinous excuses for feathered fiendishness, thank you very much!") will frequent decaying goji tree corpses as a primary food source. Upon arrival, they begin their methodical destruction of the trees by consuming all remaining goji berries. In most cases, these berries have become fermented and are subsequently intoxicating. In a controlled environment, no jinkie would ever attempt such a hopeless stunt as, say....flying. However, it would appear as though drunken jinkies cannot seem to help themselves. Once one jinkie goes for it, the rest giddily flap their useless wingbuds and waggle their ridiculous snouty appendages back and forth as they plummet to the ground in a futile attempt at birdy grandeur. It's embarrassing to watch. Anyways, they are to deceased goji trees what vultures are to bloated elk carcasses. Colloquially, they're sometimes referred to as "goji vultures". A drunken goji vulture is erratic and unpredictable. More than one noble jinkie scientist has met their fate by being spontaneously and unceremoniously submerged under a pile of disgusting jinkie regurgitant. We understand it's an experience one is not soon to forget--if one survives. 

 

Interestingly, jinkies are the only known land species whose bones never ossify. This physiological aberration prevents nearly all impact injuries that would render any other species incapacitated---or dead. It seems this indestructible attribute is in direct proportion to their lack of common sense. Were it not so, jinkies would surely have become extinct millennia ago. 

 

Jinkies and racoozles are two of the greatest of foes in the animal kingdom. This is, not surprisingly, due to jinkie obtusity. Racoozles, as already noted, are nocturnal. Jinkies are diurnal. Ergo, while racoozles are sleeping, the jinkies are fully active above ground. As can be expected with any large subterranean colony, racoozles produce many holes for entry and exit. Curious as they are, jinkies will often spend hours each day making hideous noises with uncurled snouts into these holes. Regardless the length or size of the hole, the jinkies will then lower their ear to the hole, seemingly expecting to hear an echo. Hearing nothing they then appear confused, scratch several times into the dirt with their malformed talons, and repeat the entire process. If they are not gnawing on the goji tree, fighting each other, or mating, they are "echoing" down these holes. This process tends to annoy and/or frustrate the would-be sleepers below.

 

For unknown reasons, jinkies avoid daisies at all costs. Laboratory testing with jinkie subjects reveals no discernable negative effects when exposed to daisies. It is therefore assumed that jinkies have an irrational fear of these innocuous flowers.

 

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